Sorry it has been so long since my last blog, but things went busy and then out went my writing. So since the blog I have gone through all kinds of ups and downs with the professional pathways Australia and with sheinspires.com.au…there was a mostly down period and then I tried to change internships because I figured that I would much rather eat glass then have to mess with all them terrible folks so I prayed that it would be easy for me to change internships if that was how it was going to go…
And then it wasn’t easy at all. Emails were lost, searching for spots was hard, finding full time was hard (and remember, I am free labor) and on top of that every single message that I kept hearing at church was on pushing through hard time…not the really the thing I wanted to here.
But now I am here, and while I can’t say that everything is perfect that whole experience taught me that I just need be patient and strong in hard times. It’s not always the easiest or the most enjoyable, but God doesn’t put more on you than can handle.
So onto what I really wanted to relay to the blog readers of this… for the past two day there has been mention (from powerhouse tonight and from the leadership vision last night) about idealism and dreaming big. Tonight April (the speaker…I like that Hillsong has women speakers…I’m just sayin) mentioned how animals have trained responses to stuff, like Pavlov training those dogs to salivate when they heard a bell, or how dogs that are used to having an electronic fence don’t go past those boarders even when the fence is turned off and how even though we aren’t dogs we make our own barriers of “comfort” and that sometimes keeps us thinking small.
So it brought me back to my freshman year of college when all the election stuff was still going on, I had just gotten back form New Orleans and it was the first summer as a college student and literally I felt like I wanted to leave college and just go doing manual labor all across the world (well manual as helping the poor and needy in whatever they needed). I think that was partially why my grades were so subpar my sophomore year because I felt like school was just that really obtrusive step to letting me get to my main goal of helping the folks in my world. I remember that at that Obama wasn’t the democratic candidate yet and my mom was going for Hillary and I was going for Obama. I was all about Obama cause he was really pushing for education and I was not even concerned with my own (as in higher education) but for the required k-12 education (because if you live in SC then you know that it needs help not only in the classes offered, teachers’ pay and such, but also in the facilities), plus Obama’s whole campaign was idealist and hopefully and really I feel like that is what we needed/need…to believe again that we could do more for each other and our country. At the time it was around 4th of July and my cousin was in the area with us I remember him asking my mom, “is this really ok with you that she is disagreeing with you and candidate?” and I remember my mom answering with that she thought it was great that while she thought I was wrong my outlook on things were so idealistic.
There is this line in the MuteMath song “the fight” that says “the years have stolen my innocence…” and I feel like that is what has happened a lot in that idealistic outlook of mine. From realizing that I needed to do more to get a job/go to grad school, to pushing through more work to do better in school, to just dealing with the natural dramas of life I think we just get stuck in the business now and don’t think about the what ifs of the future. So that is what I am doing, I’m gaining back my idealism and daring to dream even in failure and difficult times. Before my friend Erica left she was like “let’s go to India!” and I was like “ok...yeah that sounds good” but in my mind I was like “ok yeah, let’s see how that will actually pan out” but you know what? I’m believing for India. Believing that I will get to travel to this amazing land full of color and spice to go and build houses or whatever gets thrown my way.
oh! and one last thing! here is more AU music (it's not all Aussie, but it is played on Aussie radio and it is awesome...as before, these are not edited) http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=D516A63BFFB71ABF
in case you missed it, here is the first Aussie Mix full of only Aussie music
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=23F108031F6DF3E2
